A song

I do not see you. I do not sense your presence. Yet I know you are always with me. You never leave me. You promised. I left you. I am sorry for leaving you. I do not want to leave you. Sometimes my pain carries me away.  I remember when you carried me, when I always felt your presence, when I felt you were pleased with me, when you took me in your arms. What happened? How come I don't have that anymore? How come you seem distant? How come you hide yourself? What went wrong?

For the past several weeks, my frustrations, confusions, doubts, and fears reached a new crescendo. The sound has become detrimental and explosive; cacophonous.  Yet, I didn't know how to word these. This song worded my frustrations and doubts beautifully. I heard the song before, but it never clicked until several days ago. It doesn't really answer all of my questions. It didn't answer any of my questions. But it delivered the message that I am not alone in asking these questions and in having the frustrations that I have. It also meant that the answers are coming. The Bible tells us to ask and receive. If we don't ask, we won't receive. You'd have to know what you are asking. So once the questions are worded, I can ask them. I know he will answer because he always answered my questions. Not necessarily immediately. He answers them in his due time and his timing is perfect. And in that, I found peace.

Without further ado, here is the song. It is in Egyptian Arabic, translated to American English. My translation skills are horrid and I had to look up a lot of these words. I hope the meaning is intact. If you speak Arabic and have a better translation, kindly let me know. Thanks and enjoy.

        1)  You know my troubles and reveal all of my secrets.

      Why not reverse my confusion? And arrange all my thoughts?

      I don’t ask for much; simple is my request.

      I only want an explanation. Is that from you, my Lord?
2)  My doubt isn’t in you. But it is in me.

      Do I understand your word? Or is my hopelessness deceiving me?

      I stopped up my ears to you. I no longer hear you.

      Is the ambiguity from you? And that because of your wisdom?

3)  My Lord, give me the victory in my battle because Satan awaits me…

      … to digress from your path. And he’ll become the victor.

      You know my capability … and until when I can endure.

      Don’t prolong my foreignness … and don’t allow me to stray. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-D9PCeTK7M