I do not see you. I do not sense your
presence. Yet I know you are always with me. You never leave me. You promised.
I left you. I am sorry for leaving you. I do not want to leave you. Sometimes
my pain carries me away. I remember when
you carried me, when I always felt your presence, when I felt you were pleased
with me, when you took me in your arms. What happened? How come I don't have
that anymore? How come you seem distant? How come you hide yourself? What went
wrong?
For the past several weeks, my
frustrations, confusions, doubts, and fears reached a new crescendo. The sound
has become detrimental and explosive; cacophonous. Yet, I didn't know how to word these. This
song worded my frustrations and doubts beautifully. I heard the song before,
but it never clicked until several days ago. It doesn't really answer all of my
questions. It didn't answer any of my questions. But it delivered the message
that I am not alone in asking these questions and in having the frustrations
that I have. It also meant that the answers are coming. The Bible tells us to
ask and receive. If we don't ask, we won't receive. You'd have to know what you
are asking. So once the questions are worded, I can ask them. I know he will
answer because he always answered my questions. Not necessarily immediately. He
answers them in his due time and his timing is perfect. And in that, I found
peace.
Without further ado, here is the song. It
is in Egyptian Arabic, translated to American English. My translation skills
are horrid and I had to look up a lot of these words. I hope the meaning is
intact. If you speak Arabic and have a better translation, kindly let me know.
Thanks and enjoy.
1) You know my troubles and reveal all of my
secrets.
Why not reverse my confusion? And arrange
all my thoughts?
I don’t ask for much; simple is my request.
I only want an explanation. Is that from
you, my Lord?
2) My doubt isn’t in you. But it is in me.
2) My doubt isn’t in you. But it is in me.
Do I understand your word? Or is my
hopelessness deceiving me?
I stopped up my ears to you. I no longer
hear you.
Is the ambiguity from you? And that because
of your wisdom?
3) My Lord, give me the victory in my battle because
Satan awaits me…
… to digress from your path. And he’ll
become the victor.
Don’t prolong my foreignness … and don’t allow
me to stray. 