Gloomy season

Moderator: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to another talk with Beth and Father. Good to have you both as always.

Beth and Father: Thank you, good to be here.

Moderator: Beth, I understand you are currently experiencing an illness that took the lives of many women. You are being treated for it as we speak. It is the subject of our talk today. Please share.

Beth: Thank you, Moderator. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer on April 24^th. Surgery has taken place on May 1^st. Chemotherapy began a month later. It all started on March 30^th when my stomach became bloated and nothing helped to relieve it. My abdomen became distended and that is when I went to see several doctors, done many tests to come to that conclusion.

Moderator: Wow. Everything took place in such a short time. How did you feel all throughout this ordeal?

Beth: It was an emotional roller coaster. I cried a lot. I laughed a lot. I daydreamed a lot. I struggled with my will to live. I had pity parties. I celebrated life in all of its shapes and sizes. I sometimes pretended to be well for the sake of those around me.  Other times, I was well without pretension. I regretted a lot of things. I regretted time wasted. I was thankful for everything and anything especially the hard times. I tried to figure out what I did wrong. I repented of anything and everything even things I’ve never done just to cover all of the bases. I asked Father many, many questions and not getting answers fast enough. I asked Him, “Why me?”

Moderator: Yes, why you?

Beth (smiling): I don’t know. Some tell me that I am strong and able to handle it. But the true source of my strength is Jesus Christ. Others tell me that Father is seeking to bless me. Amen, whether I live or die, I am His. I think He wants to be glorified through all of His children, not just me. All will be revealed in His time.

Moderator: How did you overcome the emotional turmoil?

Beth: I didn’t. I am suspecting it will be a part of my life for now. I liken it to an unhealed wound. It takes time. It will get better.

Moderator: Thank you. Please go on.

Beth: During all of this time, by the grace of Father and the prayers of my brothers and sisters, He would give me words from the Bible to strengthen me.   

Moderator: What is the very first verse He gave you?

Beth: Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Although, He did not cause this illness, He allowed it. Since He allowed it and He makes no mistakes, I had to learn to trust Him and thank Him for this illness. I also have to praise Him for He is still in control and He does not change no matter how much I change.

Moderator: And the journey continues?

Beth: Yes, indeed.

Moderator: Thank you Beth and I wish you the best. As always, Father, it is a pleasure and a privilege to hear from you.

Father: Thank you, Moderator. It pleases my heart to talk with one of my children. I have a plan for each of my children that fit perfectly. My plans are good as everything I made is good. These plans are to prosper you and not to destroy you. The enemy wants to destroy you because he hates everything I love. Then he tries to convince you that I am to blame for your misfortunes and that I do not care about you. I allow misfortunes in your lives for you to realize many things. This world is temporal. There is life after the transition that many call death. Unhealthy attachments to material things hinder your progress. There are many important things to focus on. Increase your heavenly bank account and not your earthly bank account which can disappear in a moment. I care about you. I care about your spirit, heart, soul, and life. You are very precious to me. If you want my involvement in your life, you have to invite me. I will not force myself on anyone. If you want answers, ask me. I will respond in due time. If you want my will for your life, trust me. I want a relationship with you and not just dutiful service. Come close to me and I’ll come closer to you. Do you feel unable to come closer? Ask me to draw you closer to me. I love that kind of request because I love you. Thank you, Moderator, for inviting me here.

Moderator: You are welcome here anytime, Father.  As long as we are alive, we experience different seasons. Some seasons are dark and gloomy. Some are bright and beautiful. Some are a mixture of the two. But the Son will always shine. Until next time, stay blessed.