On giving thanks

There are many, many verses in the Bible about thanksgiving and how we are to offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving. We ought to be thankful in everything. Some are listed below.

Offer to God thanksgiving, And pay your vows to the Most High. Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me. Whoever offers praise glorifies Me; And to him who orders his conduct aright I will show the salvation of God. ~ ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭50:14-15, 23‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God ~ ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

But I will sacrifice to You With the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay what I have vowed. Salvation is of the LORD. ~ ‭‭Jonah‬ ‭2:9‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Remember the saying, "if given lemons, make lemonade"? That is exactly what Thanksgiving does. My task was to be grateful for cancer and chemo. Thanksgiving involves giving thanks to someone else. I chose to give thanks to God / Jesus Christ. Questions arose as to why give him thanks for something he didn't cause to happen? If anything, I am responsible for everything that happens to me directly or indirectly. So why should he be responsible? I am reminded of the book of Job in the Old Testament. God and Satan were discussing Job. God wanted to promote him. Satan wanted to destroy him. God wants to promote everyone as long as we cling to him. Satan wants to destroy everyone who loves God. I concluded that God allowed it for specific reasons. And he does work everything together for good for those who love him. ~ Romans 8:28. I tested myself to see if I love God. Then I submitted to him and thank him daily for cancer and chemo. The transformation began to happen. My attitude changed. I noticed my days are more peaceful because I was peaceful. I complained less. I can see a different perspective on things. Perhaps cancer and chemo are a nightmare, but I've grown and matured on the inside. Things that used to aggravate me do so no longer. There is more to life than eating, drinking, and money. There is joy, peace, and love. There are friendships and relationships that are priceless. There is contentment.

Perhaps life handed you lemons. What will you do with them? Curl up and die or make lemonade? I chose lemonade. It tastes better. Here is a challenge for you if you choose to accept it. Find the worst situation or the person(s) to deal with and thank God for them daily. Do this for about a month or two and see if there are any changes. Notate the changes and share the results if you wish.God bless you.

Facebook Posts

 Hi All, I apologize for not writing for a while. I was in turmoil for a period of time. The following is a collection of writings that were posted to my Facebook page. Enjoy

It has been said that about two years prior to an illness, a person would have experienced a traumatic event. Perhaps multiple rejections, abandonment, mistrust, death, lots of pressure and stress. The list is quite long. This is true in my life. I've asked other ladies with different illnesses. It was true for them, too. The question is how come? Why would two people experience the same situation, one would get sick and the other not? Environmental factors are the same. We can blame the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat, the toxins we apply on our skin, the currents from our mobile devices, etc ... Is that only a diversion?

The real reason is within us. How we handle stress and cope with disappointment is key. Do we internalize it or reconcile it daily? Stress is everywhere. Disappointing circumstances are everywhere. This is life. We've been forewarned.

I heard Dr Caroline Leaf say once that negative thoughts or emotions turn the branches in the tree in our brain black. Every thought has a branch. If there are many negative ones, the whole tree will turn black. This affects our physical health. But the brain can heal itself. It needs positive thoughts and emotions; many of them to counter the damage done.

This is where faith comes in. When I focus on God, I am not focusing on the negative. I'm opening myself to him and his healing. The brain gets the signal, changes the branches back to green, then sends signals to the body with healing. Faith revives the soul. The source of faith is important. I can do so much on my own. There is an end to my efforts. After all, I am only human.

When I was first diagnosed in April 2014, I was in a very bad emotional shape. I asked God a lot of questions. Normally, he doesn't answer when he knows I am not ready to listen. He calms my soul first. Then he answers. He never answered why. But day by day, he revealed the numerous reasons. He asked me a question that took me a long time to answer. His question? "Do you want to live?" He also instructed me on what he wanted me to do. Very simple things; any baby can do. Praise him, be thankful, spend time with him. He also revealed in my spirit that my healing isn't a one time deal. But it will be a series of small miracles. Because others will need to hear what I experienced. Another person confirmed what I sensed in my spirit. He is in control of the whole situation and proved it over and over again. Glory be to him alone.

One of the first things God did for me back in April 2014 was arrange everything according to his will. He chose the doctors, nurses, hospital, specialists, dates, and times. Everything in that aspect went smoothly. He made it easier for me. Yes, there was a lot of other kinds of pain, but there was also a lot of grace. God wants to make our lives easier by providing everything we need. And sometimes what we want. As long as we submit to him and to his will, we are protected even when life is hard.

Biological father died due to taking a wrong medication given to him by an Indian doctor. I was 12 years old. So I hated all doctors and especially Indian ones. I know now that life and death are in the hands of God alone. Even if a mistake takes place, God is able to sustain life if that was his will. Fast forward to April 2014. The oncologist surgeon who plays a huge role in my treatment is American born, Indian descent. Because everything was happening so fast, I didn't have time or room for my discrimination. So it was laid aside. At one point, I pondered the irony of the situation and noticed that my discrimination was gone. God healed me of something I didn't know was wrong. He made me confront this fear without realizing that it was a fear. You see, our Heavenly Father doesn't want us to have any issues in our hearts. He wants to look at us and see himself. With the issues, his image is distorted. And our perspective of life is distorted. So he won't leave us until everything is in line with his will. And his will is perfect and pleasing to each and every one of us.

In my journey of cancer, I learned many things. It isn't the physical pain and suffering that is the problem. It is my reactions to them. My soul needed healing before my body did. I had a lot of fears, discriminations, resentments, unforgiveness, and the list goes on. God wanted me whole. His will is for me to be more like Jesus. Every time I prayed for healing without specifying a certain condition, he was healing my soul. He healed my spirit. He removes the negative emotions and thoughts and replaces them with his love, joy and peace. The detrimental aspects of unspoken emotions and thoughts is that they are revealed by our actions. I used to think that God didn't love me due to my circumstances. I didn't share that with anyone, but my behavior and cynicism revealed this attitude. I wasn't just poisoning myself, I was poisoning those around me. God had to interfere. It seems that our priorities are completely opposed to his. I wanted healing from cancer. He wants to heal my spirit and soul and of those around me. He gives me what I need before what I want. God is love. He has been revealing that to me in many different ways especially through his bride, his church, his body of believers. Thank you, Lord.

"It is a matter of perspective," has become my favorite phrase.

All of us make daily choices. We choose what to wear, what to eat, where to go, what to do. Did you ever stop to listen to your thoughts and emotions? If you haven't, I encourage you to do that. If you have, don't they come at you like a bull? This was an interesting journey for me. My past was speaking. My present was speaking. All the voices in my head were talking. My emotions were in constant turmoil as a result. When I couldn't take it anymore, I screamed, "Stop!" And guess what happened? Everything froze. My words had power. As it turns out, they have more power than I gave them credit for. And your words have power, too. How will you use them?

God led me to start analyzing my thoughts; source, effects, and outcome. That was an eye opener! Some thoughts were traced back to childhood. Some to yesterday. There was a lot of trash that I needed to dump. With the guidance and assistance of the Holy Spirit, many were dumped. The same process took place for the emotions. Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go. One thing that made a huge difference is learning that when I dwell on a thought, I am actually opening myself to the source. I am vulnerable to the source. There are basically three sources for any thought and emotion: God, satan, self. If I think about food, I am opening myself to the desires of the body and will probably become hungry. If I think about hate, I am opening myself to satan and will feel hateful and sad. If a hateful thought pops in my head, I can reject it. I choose to reject it. If I think about love, joy, peace, patience; I am opening myself to God and feel happy, peaceful, loved depending upon the thought. I have the free will to choose the thoughts. That was a great motivator for me.

Never underestimate the power of prayer; yours and everyone else's; no matter how eloquent or simple. It is recorded in the heavenly books. Every tear, every heartfelt plea, every groan is recorded and will be answered in his time which is usually the perfect time.

Three times I had certain pains in my stomach. Two different times, it was in the same spot. It wouldn't go away. Two different people prayed and it immediately went away. I have a prayer partner who has been by my side since day 1 of this ordeal. I won't mention her name just in case she'd feel uncomfortable. She knows who she is. That is her ministry and perhaps her hobby. Her prayers and friendship contributed in who I am today. I am much obliged to her. And I thank God daily for her. As I do for everyone who prays. One time, I had bad stomach aches that breathing was difficult. It was on a day she called. She prayed for me. During the prayer, the pain immediately left. Thank God that he is above every pain no matter how big or small. Then again, he is the one who created this body of others. He is the master engineer. So why wouldn't he be able to fix it?

At a certain time, I sensed in my spirit that God was telling me to focus on him. I didn't know how. Attempting to envision him, I'd fall asleep. This happened many times. But I continued to practice. One time, I had stomach pains while practicing. My hand was on my stomach. After a little while, I realized the pain was gone.

Few months later, I read an article that stated science have discovered that when a person is in pain and focuses on a positive thing, the brain sends healing to the area of pain. So we can heal ourselves or cause detriment to ourselves by what we focus on. God created us wonderfully. He gave us keys in ourselves. Glory and honor to him alone.

I need to be open to God to receive what he has in mind for me. I need to let go of pain, pride, success, failures, people, and everything I am holding tightly in my heart if I want to see God's best in my life. He cannot give me life when I am holding on to death. He cannot give me love when I am holding on to hate. He cannot give me forgiveness when I hold on to bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness. He cannot give me healing when I am holding on to illness. He wants to work in a clean, purified vessel. Not cleaned by my own effort, but by his blood that was shed more than 2000 years ago.

I was reminded of the following experience. I lived in Egypt 9 years before migrating to the United States with family. Going to school back then was a challenge. It was hard getting there on time. My brother who is three years older had the responsibility of dropping me off at school for a time. We'd both be late. He convinced me to go to a Catholic Church on the way to light a candle and say a little prayer. Nothing major happened. Time did not stand still. I was early and he made it on time. Now how did that happen? I was baffled. I became addicted to doing that daily. Another time we were rushed and I suggested we stop by the church. It happened again and again. God rewards everyone who puts him first; even the smallest action and faith.

At one point in time, I had negative feelings. Reason? Prayed healing for two people and they both went home to be with the Lord. I felt failure, sadness, and disappointment. Shouldn't people be healed when we pray? There were more than two people agreeing and we prayed in the name of Jesus! That should be enough. No, it isn't. There is something called the will of God. There is this other thing called purpose. If a person finishes his or her work on this earth, it is time to go home. What about the ones left behind? God is more than able to supply all of their needs. If no other human being does, he will personally do it. He is the father to the orphan. I can testify to that! He is a counselor, a comforter, a teacher, a provider, a savior, a healer, a father. Another thing most of us forget is: this world is temporal. All of us will leave here to live in eternity one of these days. Will I be ready? Will you?

Jesus Christ left his glory to wear a garment of dust. He walked around like any one of us. He felt the limitations and challenges of the human body. He suffered the day to day living. But he had a purpose. He didn't come to spend a few days and go back home. He came to die. He came to suffer. He came to be humiliated. He came to be pierced, afflicted, wounded, bruised, chastised, stricken. He bore our griefs, carried our sorrows. He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities, chastised for our peace, striped for our healing. Yet, he did not complain. Because he loves us. Because he had to fulfill the law. Isn't that a lavish love that cost him everything? Nothing done in the name of love will ever go to waste. Every knee will bow in heaven, on earth, and under the earth at the name of Jesus Christ. ~ Philippians 2:10 changes mine. The rest was mostly from Isaiah chapter 53.

For everyone who is praying or been praying or prayed for any reason, never give up! I know that God listens to every prayer and answers at the most perfect time. I also know that he always rewards actions motivated by love. He always rewards the ones who pray. So keep praying for everyone and everything in your life. Never give up. Never lose hope. Because you may be praying for something that has a foundation as strong as a mountain. One prayer may not be enough. It takes a lot of hammering to get rid of that foundation. It will be done according to his will. If you have a promise or word from God, hang on to that and remind him continuously of it. You won't regret it.

A song

I do not see you. I do not sense your presence. Yet I know you are always with me. You never leave me. You promised. I left you. I am sorry for leaving you. I do not want to leave you. Sometimes my pain carries me away.  I remember when you carried me, when I always felt your presence, when I felt you were pleased with me, when you took me in your arms. What happened? How come I don't have that anymore? How come you seem distant? How come you hide yourself? What went wrong?

For the past several weeks, my frustrations, confusions, doubts, and fears reached a new crescendo. The sound has become detrimental and explosive; cacophonous.  Yet, I didn't know how to word these. This song worded my frustrations and doubts beautifully. I heard the song before, but it never clicked until several days ago. It doesn't really answer all of my questions. It didn't answer any of my questions. But it delivered the message that I am not alone in asking these questions and in having the frustrations that I have. It also meant that the answers are coming. The Bible tells us to ask and receive. If we don't ask, we won't receive. You'd have to know what you are asking. So once the questions are worded, I can ask them. I know he will answer because he always answered my questions. Not necessarily immediately. He answers them in his due time and his timing is perfect. And in that, I found peace.

Without further ado, here is the song. It is in Egyptian Arabic, translated to American English. My translation skills are horrid and I had to look up a lot of these words. I hope the meaning is intact. If you speak Arabic and have a better translation, kindly let me know. Thanks and enjoy.

        1)  You know my troubles and reveal all of my secrets.

      Why not reverse my confusion? And arrange all my thoughts?

      I don’t ask for much; simple is my request.

      I only want an explanation. Is that from you, my Lord?
2)  My doubt isn’t in you. But it is in me.

      Do I understand your word? Or is my hopelessness deceiving me?

      I stopped up my ears to you. I no longer hear you.

      Is the ambiguity from you? And that because of your wisdom?

3)  My Lord, give me the victory in my battle because Satan awaits me…

      … to digress from your path. And he’ll become the victor.

      You know my capability … and until when I can endure.

      Don’t prolong my foreignness … and don’t allow me to stray. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-D9PCeTK7M

Dresser

Maybe this is a silly post. Sometimes we need to be silly to alleviate stress. We all know how life is very stressful with all of its valleys and mountains. Any who, here goes.

I caught the minimalist virus or maybe just the organization bug. I want to minimize materialistic belongings. Or at least, organize them. I have three dressers that I have used for years. Yes, I have a lot of clothes and a small closet. And no, don't judge me. With usage, one of the drawers in one of them is broken. I have attempted to fix it. My idea of fixing is duct tape. If that doesn't work, attempt a nail and hammer. Well, it needed a nail and hammer. It is all intact. But, one or two nails are hanging out on the side. So every time I open and close the drawer, I am damaging the inner side of the dresser. I have to maneuver the drawer in such a way as to not damage the dresser. In the meantime, I reduced the amount of clothes I have. In actuality, I am just using one dresser. Yes, the one with the broken drawer. The other two managed to contain storage items. The whole plan was to get rid of two dressers and just keep one. You guessed it, I was thinking of keeping the one with the damaged drawer. I didn't have the heart to get rid of any of them. Maybe I am being sentimental, but these dressers bring back memories. Albeit some were bad. The bad or negative usually causes us to appreciate the good. Each dresser has features unlike the other two. Each one is special to me. Each one has a unique character, even the damaged one. Because it was damaged, I took extra special care in handling it. Then it hit me.

All of us are created in God's image. He sees himself in each one of us. He wouldn't abandon us for any reason especially if we are damaged.  He takes extra special care with the damaged, broken, sickly, needy ones. He loves us all unconditionally. As someone once said, "There is nothing you can do to make God love you more or less than he already does." His love is constant as he is constant. He never changes. We change. We don't fully understand him because we are limited by our humanity. If we want to know him or understand him better, all we have to do is ask him.

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:16-19 NIV

Glory

I was privileged to hold a cute baby of four months on a Sunday at church. Her name is Glory. She is as unique as her name. She was sleeping at the time. Every time the preacher raised his voice, she jolted in her sleep. She did that a couple of times. Her mother was sitting next to me and noticed the jolts as well. I sensed that if I brought her closer to me, she may stop. And she did. It took me some time to figure out why she stopped reacting to the higher pitch. She felt my skin and heartbeat. She felt safe. There is no need to feel fear when one is safe.

Reminds me of when children run to their parents on a stormy night. They need to feel safe. They want to feel safe. Life can be a very scary place and adults lost their sense of security. Where does one go when they are too old to climb into their parent's lap? When they have little ones who need them for security?

I am reminded of a post I did several years ago about the kitten who taught me a lot. She clutched my shirt as I was carrying her. Yes, cats experience fear.

Or have you seen those videos online where the dog resists taking a bath or going to the vet? Dogs experience fear as well.

Why is it little children talk to strangers more easily than adults? Parents have to constantly remind them to not speak to strangers. What is it about little children that Jesus Christ said that unless we become like little children, we cannot enter heaven? They trust easily. They believe easily. They love easily. They are new at everything. They experience everything with enthusiasm. They are color blind. They are religion blind. They are carefree. They experience the now only. They do not think about yesterday. They do not worry about tomorrow. They have no regrets. They are not jaded or bitter. Everyday is an adventure. They live each day with zest. They are innocent.

Where have we gone wrong? Let us settle our accounts before it is too late. Let us settle in the arms of our Heavenly Father just as Glory settled in my arms. How? Talk with him. He will take it from there.

Journey Lessons

This is new to me. I started typing my dated journey lessons in January. Some of these may seem repetitive, yet important. Perhaps they can be a blessing to someone.

Jan 13, 2016 – 1) God has been teaching me this lesson for a while now. I am to question what spirit /attitude I am of. Then I am to question if I want to be known or associated with the source of this spirit / attitude. For example: selfishness, greed, egoistical, egotistical, prideful, resentful, unforgiving, lying, bitterness, hatred are some of the negative attitudes. These are of the devil. Do I want to be associated with the devil? If the answer is no; then I, as a child of God, have the authority to refute these. Compassion, love, hope, faith, patience, forgiveness, joy, peace, and perseverance are some of the positive attitudes. These are of God. Do I want to be associated with God? If yes, then I accept them and think on these. It is like renewing of the mind. It is like exercise of the mind. It takes discipline, endurance, and commitment. There will be failures, but the end result is what really matters. I believe Paul the apostle illustrated the simile. 2) It is quite a phenomenon how one releases all cares / holds in life when one is fighting for his / her life. Nothing else seems to matter. Money, houses, jobs, clothes, jewelry, even appearances are some of the things that lose value in the face of an illness. The question of purpose arises. It may propel one to fight for life or give up entirely.

Jan 14 - there is a link between thoughts (even passive ones), words, and life. If I get a passive thought and do not refute it actively, then it happens. If I say anything negative, it will take place. Same is true with positive words for words have power. Our thoughts and our words are alive. I have to be conscious of every thought and word all the time. Take every thought captive … Paul the apostle stated this.

Jan 15 - Jesus Christ is very profound, yet he requires simplicity. Since we are complicated beings, we tend to complicate matters. But that is not what God wants. He wants us to always go back to simplicity. It is like being childlike. The core of this simplicity is love. God is love. Everything else should be built on that.

Jan 16 - just believe is a lot harder than it looks. For everything that God asks of you, it will be tested. For everything you claim for yourself will be tested.

Jan 17 - you are what you believe; positive or negative.

Jan 18 - procrastination does not pay in the long run. Because you never know what life has in store for the following day. Better to get things done right away before it is too late.

Jan 19 - sometimes things must get worse before they get better. Sometimes an awful thing happens to shelter us from another terrible thing. The tougher the battle gets, know that relief is very close behind.

Jan 24 - life has a way of bringing back unresolved issues to the forefront. These must be dealt with before a person can move on. They can be swept under a rug. But guess what? They will be back at an importune time.

Jan 28 - declaring something will bring about change. This change may take a bit of time depending upon how long it would take for the root of the problem to be solved.

Jan 31 - if the Lord tells you to do something, he will provide. He will make life easier for you. Never doubt. Just believe.

Feb 01 - when a certain train of thought keeps haunting me, I find the opposite of this in the Bible or a promise that I can apply to myself. I would then declare it out loud until it becomes a reality for me. At first it sounds superficial, but with time it will sink in and raise my faith; because faith increases / comes through the word of God / Bible verses. One well known verse is no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

Feb 02 - God wants me just as I am. My best is never good enough. He wants me. He is able to make all things beautiful in me.

Feb 03 - journaling helps with de -stressing. Praising God helps with de- stressing. Reading the Bible helps as well. Praying, meditating, and walking. There are many.

Feb 04 - in life, you will make mistakes. You are only human. Learn from them.

Feb 05 - focus on Jesus. Not easy, takes discipline.

Feb 09 - focusing on Jesus changes everything, the entire course.

Feb 10 - stay focused on Jesus. Routine kills the spark in a relationship.

Feb 12 - sometimes in life, you have to take a risk; preferably a calculated risk.

Feb 14 - I want to live each day as if it were the last. Different perspective? A risk?

Feb 20 - healing accompanies the presence of the Lord; even if no one prays for healing.

Feb 21 - fear should be eliminated in one's life. God will make sure that one faces his or her own fears.

Feb 25 - fear is an enemy. Once a fear is recognized, take steps to eliminate it. Pray and ask for God's peace. Do it afraid as Joyce Meyer would say.

Mar 02 - instead of succumbing to the emotions and the hurts, pray asking for healing.

Mar 10 - just because things didn't work out according to your plans or on your timetable, doesn't mean everything is lost or it is too late. God can and will restore everything according to his plans. No need to blame self or others. He got it. Just forgive. Just believe.

Mar 18 - being with someone who is angry, makes one angry. Being with a fearful person makes one afraid. Learn to clean oneself in God's presence. It is quite easy. Just a simple prayer.

Mar 20 - when God chooses, it doesn't matter who approves or disapproves. He made his choice and he knows who we really are. No need to worry about consequences or feelings of inadequacies.

Mar 26 - always be grateful to God for everything especially Jesus' redemption and resurrection.

Apr 09 - God deals with me according to my personality. He knows I like being independent. He also knows that I like to know the why, how, when, and everything else. So he allows me to do things the hard way. He gives me the freedom, knowledge to search things for myself. That way, I can help others needing my expertise. This will make it easier for them. And I usually stand in awe of it all.

Apr 10 - there will be times when God is silent. Those can be unnerving. Learn to wait for him and his voice. He does speak when asked to.

Apr 16 - I heard this a while ago and it makes sense. We open our spirit to God when we think of him, imagine him, envision him. Some of my best healings were done when I focused on him.

Apr 17 – 1) because Jesus Christ gave us his all, he allows us to pursue him. When we are ready to give him our all, he will be found by us. 2) We have to arrive at a point as born again Christians that no matter what happens, to God be all the glory. Whether he heals or not, whether he resurrects or not, whether he fills a need or not, he deserves all of the glory. He doesn't make mistakes. He knows what he is doing. He is good, all of the time. He loves us unconditionally.

Where is your focus?

Moderator: Good day, Ladies and Gentlemen. We have a new subject today. Where is your focus? Our usual guests are here. We are always privileged to have them. Beth, the floor is yours.

Beth: thank you, Moderator. It is always a pleasure to be here. About a week ago, my Father told me to focus on him. Mind you, this isn't my biological father. He passed

away when I was twelve years of age. This is my Heavenly Father. It was a difficult task because my mind was traveling in many different directions at a rate of 1000 miles an hour. But I tried. Few times, I fell asleep. But tried again. On an early Saturday morning, I tried again. While doing so, I felt some stomach pain. I just laid my hands on it without thinking about it. Then I noticed that the pain was gone. It was a WOW moment. I didn't pray for the pain to be gone. It just left. Yesterday, I had another chemotherapy session. The nurse was having a hard time finding a good vein. Once she did and during insertion, it would be painful. Now I would usually take a deep breath to minimize the pain. This time with the deep breathing, I focused on my dear Savior. The pain was very tolerable; almost nonexistent. Now, I am addicted to focusing on him. And not just because he heals me, but because I find rest in him.

Moderator: Wow indeed. Welcome Father, so glad you are here. And cannot wait to hear what you have to say.

Father: thank you, Moderator, always a pleasure to be here because I love all of my children. I said once in the book of Matthew 11 that whoever is burdened and heavy laden and comes to me, I will him / her rest. Although I love all of my children whether they know me or not, I cannot help them until they come to me. I want a relationship with all of them. Some want it, too. But many just want to acknowledge me from afar.

There are those who claim I do not exist. I love them all. It is worth repeating. I sacrificed my only Son to be able to adopt many, many more sons and daughters. I want my family to be complete. I want my family to truly love one another just as I love each one of them. There is responsibility and accountability. But there is also joy, peace, and rest among other things. As long as they all fix their eyes and minds on me, they will always have all of me as well as my rest. Thank you, Moderator, for having me.

Moderator: thank you Father. It is never enough to thank you. I can spend the rest of my life thanking you. Thank you, Reader, for taking the time to read this experience. I hope you have known what true rest really means. If not, test where your focus is. And what that focus is breeding in your life. Until next time, stay blessed. 

Questions

This is unusual for me to do. But I have some thoughts that I could not envelope in a story and have no commonality. This is basically a string of questions that many may have including me.

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, the question was why? Why me? Although I heard many religious leaders say one thing or another, the number one person’s thoughts that mattered to me was Jesus Christ. And I asked him. And he answered. Even after getting his answer, I tended to veer in other directions. The problem is not in him. The problem is in distractions. Satan loves to distract. Some of the answers that I heard from religious leaders were: there is a sin that needed to be cleansed, God is removing some rubbish such as complacency and laziness, a spiritual battle, a trial, a test, preparation for eternity, preparation for his glory, etc … Right before my diagnosis, I started getting more serious about God. In my experience, everything I say is usually tested. And this is no different. The turmoil that followed is unforgettable and unspeakable. It is one of those experiences where you have to walk in another’s shoes for a mile to really understand.

When I first received chemotherapy treatment, several people including my oncologist stated that chemotherapy is poison. Isn’t that a moral dilemma? God can protect me from this poison per Mark 16:17-18.

One of the endearing characteristics of Jesus Christ is that he uses one circumstance to accomplish many things. He had one main reason for the experience, but it is accomplishing many. It is a battle. I am also being cleansed and prepared for something which I do not know yet. I just hope I retain and use everything I learned. I believe he is healing on a deeper level. I tend to suppress my emotions because these are not right or “proper”. This suppression causes many illnesses. Our bodies were not created for that kind of stress. As time went by, we have forgotten how to release our burdens. And that is exactly what God wants to do; give us rest. ~ Matthew 11: 28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 

I have always sought God’s will in my life. It wasn’t because I was religious, righteous, or even good. It is because I was and probably still am a coward. I wanted someone else to make decisions for me because I wouldn’t be responsible for the consequences. Boy, was I wrong! We all suffer when an associate makes a bad decision. We suffer when our ancestors made wrong decisions. It is part of life.

One thing I kept hearing over and over again is that God allowed this illness or this circumstance; the reference being the book of Job. I question that. I know God is good. I also know that I am his daughter through the reconciling work of Jesus Christ. Would I, as a human being, allow someone to hurt a loved one especially a child of mine? Why would God do that? He even said in Matthew 7:9-11: “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” It seems to me that my decisions and choices are the ones that get me into trouble whether I know the consequences or not. For every choice, there is consequence even generational. Sometimes we are ignorant of the consequences. If I know that eating a certain food will cause me to be ill and I eat it anyway, what should I expect? If I don’t know, what will happen? God mentioned several times in the Bible that his people perish / get exiled for lack of knowledge. ~ Hosea 4:6 and Isaiah 5:13.

Guess what? There are lies a plenty in this world. Satan thrives on lies. ~ John 8:44. Because his aim is to steal, kill, and destroy everyone and everything God loves. ~ John 10:10. It is our responsibility to gain knowledge and truth by asking, seeking, and knocking until we get an answer. ~ Matthew 7:7-8. And God is faithful. He will answer at the perfect time.

Throughout life, I‘ve heard references of how the good die young or the wickeds’ days are cut short. It is in the Bible both ways. I’ve seen both during my lifetime.  Which one is it? The good die young or the evil does? This is purely a generalization. Is this a defense mechanism to deal with pain?

Another thing I kept hearing is that cancer is a sure ticket to heaven. Really? How? What I know is that belief in Jesus Christ as a personal savior and son of God is the sure ticket to heaven, not disease. His redemptive work reconciled me to God, the father. This idea diminishes the whole ministry of Jesus. Why would he heal the sick if sickness would transport people to heaven? It doesn’t follow. Another lie? This seems to be a tactic to please people so they would not get too upset and leave a certain denominational church. At what price? Their eternity and the church leaders’ eternity? The church leaders are under greater judgment at the end because they are responsible for what they teach. ~ James 3:1.       

Church leaders encourage people to serve in the churches and give money. Very few actually encourage them to get to know God better; to draw closer to Jesus Christ, to whet their appetites with morsels from the Bible. Many condemn the people for their actions or lack of, yet, few speak of the love of Christ. Many state what God will do for them if they did such and such or gave a certain amount of money, yet few speak of what Jesus Christ already did. Who or what are we focused on? If the churches want to see the miraculous, they need to get serious about God.  

Religion or relationship? If I venture to be bold, I’d say that we are all religious. We are religious in attending school, going to work, eating, personal hygiene, doing daily things that we need to do. Most of us attend religious services. All religions have commandments and rules that we need to adhere to. Christianity is no different, that is, if you want to look at it as a religion. We have to attend church, we have to read the Bible, we have to pray, we have to love our neighbors and much worst, we have to love our enemies! It is such a burden. “We have to” is a tricky phrase. Why? Why do I have to? If you think about it a little further, all religions are such burdens. By the way, atheism is a religion. According to thefreedictonary.com, religion is defined as “a cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion.” Fanaticism and extremism is born of religion. Mental illnesses are born of religion. Being zealous is very good, in fact, as long as you know the reason. ~ Galatians 4:18. Some think they are following the truth; while others negate that same truth. Is it really truth?

Unlike other religions, Christianity is about relationship. It is a relationship between two persons who love each other. You have tried it. I have tried it. There is nothing more satisfying than spending time with a loved one. The number one regret of many on their death beds is that they didn’t get to spend a lot of time with their loved ones. Everything else didn’t seem to matter. Who are the two persons spending time together? Jesus Christ and any person. Out of this love relationship, something beautiful begins to grow. I start to change and become more like him. He doesn’t change. He is eternal. I can always change for the better. So the burdensome commands in the Bible are not so troublesome.  Because I do them for someone who loves me and I love him. It becomes easier with him lightening the load. ~ Matthew 11: 28-30.

I see pain, sorrow, death, and illness everywhere. It breaks my heart. I know God is the healer and restorer, yet, I do not see him working. I know he is. He listens to prayers and always responds at the perfect time. My prayer for everyone is to know the truth, the whole truth, the absolute truth, and nothing else.

Self worth?

What is self worth?
How does one get self worth? Tangible or intangible sources?
Do all people have self worth?
Does it really matter to have self worth?
Does self worth or lack of it affect other areas of one's life?

What is one's identity?
How do we define ourselves? Tangible or intangible sources?
Is self worth related to one's identity?

I approached it with trepidation. You see, I do not want to state anything I do not believe as truth. It is a hard question to tackle. What is it? What is IT? Can we start with what it is not? It is not in jobs or careers for they can be lost or no longer interesting. It cannot be in money for money has a way of forsaking us. Cars? Property? They tend to get older and lose their novelty. Besides, the newer is better and bigger. Right? It is like a mirage. People? They tend to be fickle. Depending on someone who is unpredictable (and all of us are unpredictable; at least once in a while) is like leaning on an elastic surface. You would only get whiplash. SO it is not tangible. It must intangible, right?

Identity is who I am. What is my personality? What do I look like? Preferences? You get the picture. How I view, value, and treat myself is self worth. They are different, but interrelated. I have to know who I am to value myself correctly. Do we all have self worth? Sadly, no. We all ought to have self worth for each of us is a work of art (more on that below). It matters to have it. For when we value ourselves, we are qualified to value others. Thus, it makes it very important as well as affects every area of our lives for people are everywhere. And we have to deal with people daily, right?

Each one of us is unique. Each was made with a hole in self that cannot be filled with anything or anyone other than the author. He crafted this piece of art with unconditional love, grace, and kindness. He saw himself in the mirror and carved each person according to the image he saw in the mirror. He breathed into the person to give latter life. I heard of an auction where a violin was up for bid. It was worn out, dusty, broken in several places, and strings were abused. The auctioneer looked at it with disgust and started the bid at one dollar. Absolutely no one wanted to bid the dollar. In walked the violin maker. He kept walking until he reached the auctioneer, grabbed the violin, dusted it, fixed the strings, made some minor adjustments, held it up, and started playing. Everyone was captivated with the melodies. He stopped playing, handed it back to the auctioneer, and walked out. Everyone bid like crazy trying to own this mesmerizing musical instrument. It was too valuable for each of them. The moral of the story? In the hands of the maker, the created being can be fixed, restored, and play beautiful music.

I personally found self worth and identity in Jesus Christ. No, not religion. Relationship. 

And you, my friend, on what do you base your worth and identity? 

On Thanksgiving

Bible reference: Genesis chapters 37 and 39 through 50.

It is a matter of perspective. Which will you choose?

Poor Joseph. He was betrayed by his brothers and sold to be a slave. He became a slave to Potiphar. Latter’s wife eyed Joseph and pursued him. When she didn’t get what she wanted, she accused him of wrongdoing. It wasn’t bad enough being a slave, but to be an imprisoned slave! And for what? For doing right?! Years pass by and it felt like Joseph was forgotten by God. Whatever happened to his dreams? Did God give him those dreams? Or … these were substances of his imagination? Two of the king’s officials get imprisoned with him. They dream very worrisome dreams since they do not understand them. Joseph interpreted the dreams and they waited for them to take place. And they did, three days later. One was restored to his position and Joseph thought, “Great! This is my opportunity.” Joseph requested from the official to talk to the king on his behalf.  The other forgot. Poor Joseph. Another person forgot about him. He filled his days with work as an addiction to forget his pain. And he was faithful, even in prison. Two years passed and the king dreamt a disturbing dream. God closed up all of his magicians’ minds to the meaning. Was all of this pure luck?

Or …

Joseph kept a close eye on his father Jacob’s business and reported everything to him faithfully; even if he had to offend his brothers. His father favored him and his brothers were jealous. There was no promotion in that business. However, God chose to promote him. He allowed his brothers to betray him and sold him as a slave. He was sold to Potiphar. He kept close watch on Potiphar’s business until Potiphar trusted him wholeheartedly. Since there was no other promotion in Potiphar’s house, God had to move him elsewhere to promote him. He allowed that he be imprisoned.  He earned the trust of the prison keeper and he was trusted with everything there. It was just a matter of time before another promotion would take place. It was a waiting period. And he was faithful; even in prison. God was glorified.

Perhaps, dear Reader, you would interpret the story a different way. But the ending reveals the purpose. No, sometimes we will not see the end during the fire. So we have to trust; to have faith in God who walked with us in the past. Jesus Christ showed Himself faithful to me in the past. I have no reason to doubt him now for He never changes. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” ~ Hebrews 13:8. He is so good. He is so sweet. He is so compassionate. He is so patient. He is love. He is the beginning and the end. He is the alpha and the omega. He is life. He is light. He is the door. He is just. He is wonderful. He is The Counselor. He is Great. He is Great at everything He does. For He is. And He is the reason I am thankful.  

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Are you ready?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB09F2PdXMw

In reference to the video above and Matthew 24.

Maybe the exact date of Jesus’ return is unknown because no one knows the exact hour or date as He stated in Matthew 24:36. So it can be September 23 or 24 or the following week or the following month or the following year. One thing is sure: He will come back as He stated in Matthew 24:22-35 and Revelations 22:20. The question is: Are you ready? It would be wise to be ready at anytime as advised by Jesus in Matthew 24: 42-51.

For all who claim that there is no God or believe in Jesus Christ or second coming: what if you are wrong? Are you willing to take that risk? It is for eternity. Just because you don’t believe in something or someone, it does not cease to exist. Gravity exists whether we believe in it or not. Seek the truth and you shall find it.

For all who await His return patiently: Maranatha! “Amen. Come, Lord Jesus,” Revelations 22:20 latter.  

How is your heart?

Biblical reference: Exodus chapters 1-12

During the famine of Joseph’s time, the Israelite clan moved to Egypt; Genesis 46. They thrived there. That generation died and Joseph with all he did was forgotten. The Israelites were enslaved by the new Egyptian king / Pharaoh. They needed a savior. Moses was sent. But Pharaoh wasn’t going to give up easily especially since he didn’t believe in God. He thought of himself a god. He believed the Israelites were being lazy and didn’t want to work. He employed magicians who can imitate some of the signs and wonders performed by Moses and Aaron (his brother) by the power of the true God. So Pharaoh’s heart became hard. God informed Moses of Pharaoh’s heart hardening ahead of time as an encouragement to stay in the bitter, long battle. After all, why would a king let a people go who are doing his country a great service at a fraction of the cost? It would be a terrible business decision. He was obsessed with their service regardless of the capacity of Egypt’s destruction caused by the plagues. The first two plagues were reproduced by the magicians. They could not replicate the rest and proclaimed to Pharaoh that it was the finger of God. He was unmoved. By the eighth plague, his officials attempted to persuade him to let them go for Egypt was ruined. Pharaoh did not regard their cry. All throughout the plagues, the Israelite communities were not affected. After the tenth and final plague, Pharaoh relented. He ordered them out of the country for his firstborn was dead. In fact, every first born son was killed whose house was not covered by the blood of the lamb. After letting them go, Pharaoh pursued them in the desert and into the Red Sea where he died with all of his fighting men. With this, the Israelites gained their freedom from Pharaoh once and for all.

There are many lessons to be learned in this story. 1) Pride comes before the fall; Proverbs 11:2, 16:18, 29:23. The fall or destruction not only affects the prideful person, but also those associated with him / her. In the story above, all of Egypt was affected. 2) God can and does protect those who take shelter in Him no matter how awful the storm is. He was able to protect the Israelites from all plagues. 3) God wants to set His people free from the bondage of Satan. All of us are born with a sinful nature that we inherited from Adam and Eve when they disobeyed God.  Pharaoh symbolize Satan. He won’t let people in his grip go unless they seek a stronger opponent; Jesus Christ. 4) The lamb sacrificed to protect the firstborn is symbolic to what Jesus Christ did in the New Testament. He died so we do not have to. He suffered to pay for our healing. He resurrected to resurrect us with Him. And in the process, He took the victory over Satan and death. He bestows this victory on whoever cleaves to Him.  

Dear Reader, please do not harden your heart and cause your downfall and of those around you. Stop believing Satan’s lies. He does not love you. He wants you to spend all of eternity with him in hell. He is a cruel master. If you give him an inch, he thinks he’s a Ruler. Why follow him when you can choose another who loves you very much? His name is Jesus Christ.   

To choose or not to choose?

Biblical reference is Genesis chapters 13 through 19.

Abram and Lot were traveling together. Both have been prosperous. The land could not support their livestock which caused their quarreling. Abram suggested they’d separate to opposite directions. Abram yielded and allowed his nephew Lot to choose which direction he preferred. 13:10 mentions that Lot looked up at the land. It looked good to him which was the basis for his decision. They parted company. Then God told Abram to look up at the land in verse 14. God promised the whole land to Abram.

Lot chose based upon appearance and he reaped. He chose to be associated with Sodom and Gomorrah. He chose to be part of an established city with walls as protection. The very next chapter a war breaks out against Sodom and Gomorrah because they rebelled against the king they were subjects to. Lot and everything of his were carried off. Abram rescues him, all of his household, and belongings. Six chapters later Sodom and Gomorrah are burned to the ground. Lot and his two daughters are rescued. His wife turned into a pillar of salt for looking back and longing for Sodom and Gomorrah. There was no mention of his possessions which were the subject of contention back in chapter 13. He lost everything. So Lot and his daughters were taken out of Sodom, but Sodom was not taken out of his daughters. They each bore a child by Lot when he was drunk because of a thought the eldest had; Genesis 19:30-38.

Abram chose passively and he reaped. He chose to be associated with God. He lived in tents. Yet no harm came to him. He was not subject to any king or land. He rescued Lot from the hands of four kings and their armies by a mere 318 trained men born in his household; Genesis 14:14. He didn’t need to rent out an army. God made a covenant with him that still lives on today. He is the father of all Israelites / Jews through his son Isaac. He is the father of all Muslims through his son Ishmael. He is the father of all believers / Christians through his faith in God and His promises; Romans 4:16-17. God visited Abram and told him what he planned to do in Sodom and Gomorrah. Fearing for his nephew Lot, Abram pleaded for the righteous. God answered his prayer by rescuing Lot.      

What can we learn from their choices and consequences? There are many lessons; only a few will be mentioned. First: to make an actual choice is the same as letting another choose for you. They both reap consequences and not making a choice is a choice in itself. Although Abram did not choose, a choice was made for him. And he reaped the consequences. Second: choosing based upon appearance alone will have a negative impact on self and those associated with the choice. Lot found himself in a lot of trouble. Abram was troubled as well for he had to rescue Lot more than once. Third: associations have the potential of being a blessing or a curse. When Lot was with Abram, he thrived. When he associated with Sodom and Gomorrah, he lost everything.

Why did Sodom and Gomorrah reap war and fire? They rebelled against the king they were subjects to. They also adhered to a different lifestyle. God created Adam and Eve. He does not make mistakes. He did not change his mind after creating them. A man and a woman were created in God’s image. One without the other cannot bear children. When a thought is dwelt upon in a person’s mind whether truth or otherwise, it takes root. From this root, behaviors arise. I can believe myself to be a goat. Then I will start to act like a goat. I may even start to look like a goat. Am I a goat? Did God create me to be a goat? When I walk away from God, I am susceptible to many lies. Lot walked away from God and Abram. He did not succumb to the lies of the towns he lived in. But his daughters did.

Dear Reader, life is full of choice making. Some are easy and require no second thoughts. Some require much thought. One of these is eternity. Some claim there is no God, no heaven, no hell, no satan. Some claim all of them exist in one form or another. If people want to have a better future, they go back to college and earn a bachelor’s, master’s, and / or a doctorate’s degrees. All of this just so they can have a better future which may last 40, 50, or 60 years. What about eternity? There is no time limit for it. It goes on and on and on. Isn’t it worth the effort to know the truth? Seek the truth and it will be found by you. Think for yourself. 

Abundant Life

I get beaten every day. But that is okay. I thank my Lord Jesus Christ that I have another day. The following day is always full of surprises. Does this mean I am always smiling or happy? Not in the least. But I have to do what I have to do.

You see, the battle is not with the disease. The enemy / thief wants my mind and choices to be his. I refuse to succumb to his tactics. Jesus said in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  Some say that the full starts in the eternal. I disagree and this is just an opinion. 

As human beings, we have three facets: spirit, soul, and body. The spirit lies dormant until rebirth. Only spirit gives birth to spirit. There has to be a higher power / spirit to give birth to another spirit. Jesus Christ is the only one who has authority to give rebirth. God is spirit. (John 4:24) Jesus and God are one. (John 14:10; John 8:58) How does this rebirth start? A simple prayer which includes thanking Jesus for his redemptive work at crucifixion, requesting that he’d forgive past sins, and requesting to be accepted into his family. The soul contains our emotions and thoughts. The soul is very sensitive and can be affected by either the spirit or the body or both. It can feel like a battle because, it is. The enemy is vying for the emotions and thoughts; the soul. If he can control the mind; another name for the soul; he controls the person. The way for the enemy to win is through lies. It is stated in latter John 8:44: for he is a liar and the father of lies. For example: you’d get a thought that God does not love you. If you dwell on the thought and agree that God does not love you, enemy won this battle. But if you refuse to dwell on the thought and refuse to believe it, enemy loses. So our choices are very important for our well being. We can choose to be more like Jesus. How? By spending more time with him in prayer, reading of the Bible, attending church. True Christianity is about relationship and not religion. It is the relationship between God / Jesus Christ and the born again Christian. There is also the physical body which all of us are aware of.

God wants to heal on all levels. He heals the spirit through rebirth. How can you describe the color sky blue to a man born blind? Where would you begin? What if this same man was to have his eyes opened and he sees the sky for the very first time? Can you imagine the awe? Yes … it is like that. You have to experience it. This rebirth shifts one from one kingdom to another. With it, one becomes a son or daughter of God. With it, one becomes a new creation. With it, one has a new eternal dwelling where it’ll be spent with Jesus Christ. I never regretted this decision no matter how difficult life has been. Every born again Christian I know never regretted it either. God heals on the soul level. He is the wonderful Counselor stated in Isaiah 9. He wants to heal the pains and hurts of the past and the residue these leave on our personalities. He paid the price of our healings when he suffered and was crucified. So why should we? He wants to heal the body. I know he does. When Jesus walked the earth in human form, he healed everyone who approached him for healing. He approached very few to heal them. For complete reference, check out the previous post, “Who were healed?”  I also know he has a specific will for each of his children’s lives. Sometimes he has a purpose behind the illness. Once the purpose is finished, he may heal the body in earthly form or he may perform the complete healing.

“Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” I Corinthians 15:55. For the born again Christian, there is no sting of death. It is taken away. There is hope for eternity. He is Jesus Christ. It is no longer death, but a passover from one life to a much, much better one. The fear of death is taken away as well. No need to fear death. The limitations of the physical body are temporal. We ought to be faithful with our physical health for it will serve us as long as we occupy earth.

Life to the full starts with the rebirth. We have resources to guide and help us when we need such as the Bible and other believers. We have a constant companion in Jesus Christ. We are not in it alone. And the choice is ours. I hope and pray we all choose wisely.

So knowing what I know about the battle I am in, I chose life whether here or there depending upon God’s will for me. With this in mind, what do I have to lose? And you, my friend, what will you choose? 

Merry Christmas!

It has been said, “This person has the spirit of Christmas.” Or, “That person does not have the spirit of Christmas.” What does the spirit of Christmas mean? Is it the spirit of giving? How about joy? What about peace? Or is it about celebration? It is all of that and much, much more. Christmas is a celebration of the approximate birth date of Jesus Christ. It is a bit more complicated. He is eternal, but He took the form of human flesh and was born in that flesh on or about Christmas time. Mary was visited by angel Gabriel to tell her the Holy Spirit will come upon her and the power of God will overshadow her in Luke 1:35. God is able to do the impossible. ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty; in Zechariah 4:6 latter portion. Mary was pregnant just like any other woman who was pregnant and had babies. It was an ordinary day just like any other, according to the world. But the heavens were celebrating in Luke 2. The angels were singing in heaven. Jesus’ star appeared in the sky according to Matthew 2:2. He was born in Bethlehem. It took Caesar Augustus to issue a decree for everyone to go back to their hometowns to register in the census; see it in Luke 2:1-3. Otherwise, He would have been born in Nazareth. However, prophecy had to be fulfilled.

Who is this child that caused heaven to rejoice over? Isaiah 9:6-7 stated, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.” Why were we given this child? The answer comes in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” We were the reason Jesus Christ was born. He loves us and wants us reconciled with the Father. What is the spirit of Christmas? It is the spirit of love. He is the Holy Spirit. He is Jesus Christ. I wish you the fullness of Jesus Christ this Christmas. Ephesians 3:14-19 says, “… I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

Gloomy season

Moderator: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to another talk with Beth and Father. Good to have you both as always.

Beth and Father: Thank you, good to be here.

Moderator: Beth, I understand you are currently experiencing an illness that took the lives of many women. You are being treated for it as we speak. It is the subject of our talk today. Please share.

Beth: Thank you, Moderator. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer on April 24^th. Surgery has taken place on May 1^st. Chemotherapy began a month later. It all started on March 30^th when my stomach became bloated and nothing helped to relieve it. My abdomen became distended and that is when I went to see several doctors, done many tests to come to that conclusion.

Moderator: Wow. Everything took place in such a short time. How did you feel all throughout this ordeal?

Beth: It was an emotional roller coaster. I cried a lot. I laughed a lot. I daydreamed a lot. I struggled with my will to live. I had pity parties. I celebrated life in all of its shapes and sizes. I sometimes pretended to be well for the sake of those around me.  Other times, I was well without pretension. I regretted a lot of things. I regretted time wasted. I was thankful for everything and anything especially the hard times. I tried to figure out what I did wrong. I repented of anything and everything even things I’ve never done just to cover all of the bases. I asked Father many, many questions and not getting answers fast enough. I asked Him, “Why me?”

Moderator: Yes, why you?

Beth (smiling): I don’t know. Some tell me that I am strong and able to handle it. But the true source of my strength is Jesus Christ. Others tell me that Father is seeking to bless me. Amen, whether I live or die, I am His. I think He wants to be glorified through all of His children, not just me. All will be revealed in His time.

Moderator: How did you overcome the emotional turmoil?

Beth: I didn’t. I am suspecting it will be a part of my life for now. I liken it to an unhealed wound. It takes time. It will get better.

Moderator: Thank you. Please go on.

Beth: During all of this time, by the grace of Father and the prayers of my brothers and sisters, He would give me words from the Bible to strengthen me.   

Moderator: What is the very first verse He gave you?

Beth: Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Although, He did not cause this illness, He allowed it. Since He allowed it and He makes no mistakes, I had to learn to trust Him and thank Him for this illness. I also have to praise Him for He is still in control and He does not change no matter how much I change.

Moderator: And the journey continues?

Beth: Yes, indeed.

Moderator: Thank you Beth and I wish you the best. As always, Father, it is a pleasure and a privilege to hear from you.

Father: Thank you, Moderator. It pleases my heart to talk with one of my children. I have a plan for each of my children that fit perfectly. My plans are good as everything I made is good. These plans are to prosper you and not to destroy you. The enemy wants to destroy you because he hates everything I love. Then he tries to convince you that I am to blame for your misfortunes and that I do not care about you. I allow misfortunes in your lives for you to realize many things. This world is temporal. There is life after the transition that many call death. Unhealthy attachments to material things hinder your progress. There are many important things to focus on. Increase your heavenly bank account and not your earthly bank account which can disappear in a moment. I care about you. I care about your spirit, heart, soul, and life. You are very precious to me. If you want my involvement in your life, you have to invite me. I will not force myself on anyone. If you want answers, ask me. I will respond in due time. If you want my will for your life, trust me. I want a relationship with you and not just dutiful service. Come close to me and I’ll come closer to you. Do you feel unable to come closer? Ask me to draw you closer to me. I love that kind of request because I love you. Thank you, Moderator, for inviting me here.

Moderator: You are welcome here anytime, Father.  As long as we are alive, we experience different seasons. Some seasons are dark and gloomy. Some are bright and beautiful. Some are a mixture of the two. But the Son will always shine. Until next time, stay blessed.